PerpetratorX

Dental Records

Yesterday I overheard some guy in in the elevator turn to his buddy and say:

"Something I’ve never understood about plane crashes – you know how they have to identify the crash victims by their dental records? If you don’t know whose body it is, how the hell are you supposed to know how to get in touch with their dentist?"

As told by Philadelphia Cosmetic Dentists

Skydiving

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.

Mad Cows

These two cows are talking, you know, just chewing the cud.

The first cow says to the other, “I’m worried about that Mad Cow disease I’ve heard about.”

The second cow says “Yeah, makes you pretty happy to be a tiger.”

Manic-Depressives

How many manic-depressives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they’re crying alone in the dark.

lawyers...

It was so freezing out today I actually saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.